Gay Men & Persevering Through the Pandemic
How do we cope and continue forward in the midst of COVID?
When COVID-19 numbers in the US began to decrease as more people became fully vaccinated, there was shared hope and relief that we could start to live life normally again. Hot Gay Summer was in full effect — Pride Month celebrations, pool parties, drag brunches, club, ‘nother club, ‘nother club, plane, no sleep. We rejoiced in our post-quarantine freedom. But, everything changed when the Delta variant attacked. More contagious variants and breakthrough infections have forced a partial return to restricted life, which is not what anyone had hoped for.
Entering an era of COVID variants can stir many emotions, including fear, concern, frustration, anger, and denial. The thought of giving up the freedoms we got back after a year and a half in lockdown has the potential to turn our Hot Gay Summer into Sad Boy Autumn*.
How do we prepare for a possible revert to restricted life and social interactions? How do we manage our concerns of the new variants that threaten our health and way of life? How do we retain joy as this pandemic gears up again? I don’t have the answers to these questions but they are questions circling my mind and heart. I offer my thoughts in hopes that they may help you in your own journey of navigating life during COVID.
*(Shout out to Your Gay Cousins Podcast)
Reflect, rebuild, reinforce
To know the path forward, it helps to reflect on the journey we’ve had and how it impacted us. For many, quarantine posed daily challenging circumstances such as being alone every day. Others spent it with family, children, roommates, or a significant other with limited privacy. Quarantine involved working from home through screen fatigue, working in person and in constant risk, or unemployed after getting laid off. We experienced political, social, and natural events that added stress to our overwhelmed minds, bodies, and spirits. We were unable to celebrate holidays or properly grieve losses that sometimes came one after another.
Furthermore, some faced domestic violence, eating disorders, body image issues, addiction, abuse, homophobia and/or transphobia in their home, homelessness, and more. As a result of all of this, our sense of safety, stability, and connection has been deeply impacted. Intentional awareness, acknowledgment, and healing of this trauma is needed. Otherwise, we leave ourselves vulnerable to unexpected triggers and reactions.
As I reflect on my own pandemic journey and the impact it has had on me, I’ve become aware that I carry a feeling of disconnection as a result of being isolated for so long. I acknowledge my feelings of loneliness, my desire to connect, and an unexpected aversion to social situations that somehow developed during the quarantine. Part of my healing process has been to start seeing a therapist and talking through all of this. I’m making an effort to reconnect with friends and push through the social anxiety at my own pace. Even this article is having a healing effect on me as I write.
I encourage you to create space for self-reflection, awareness, and acknowledgment of what you’re currently carrying so that you can heal, rebuild, and reinforce in this next stage of the global pandemic.
Mindfully moving forward
In late May 2021, I had the honor of being a guest on The Spiritual Gayz podcast where I spoke on the impact the pandemic has had on our mental health and ways we can mindfully navigate this COVID resurgence.
Check in with yourself
It’s normal to be excited about going back out into the world. It’s also normal to feel nervous and hesitant. Acknowledge your concerns and emotions. Know that they may change from one day to the next, especially in this evolving pandemic.
Check in with yourself after social events, as well. Ask yourself, “How did that feel?.” “Do I feel comfortable doing that again or should I slow down?” This can bring clarity on how to proceed during these uncertain times.
Take it at your own pace
If you choose to not go out to a social gathering, that’s okay. Honor your experience. You may feel pressure to go out and keep up with people in your life, but it’s perfectly okay to say no or change your mind.
Honor other people’s experience
We may feel ready but others may not. Be okay with people saying no just as you would like others to be understanding with you. Everyone has their own reasons to avoid social gatherings.
Be kind and compassionate with yourself
Seeing this upturn in the pandemic is upsetting and frustrating. Be mindful to not let those emotions spill over to how you treat yourself. Checking in with yourself and honoring your experience allows you to practice self-kindness and self-compassion, which are always necessary, but especially at this time.
Now is a good time to reflect on your experience living through a pandemic. Gain the awareness that will allow you to acknowledge the impact it has had on you and how to go about healing and caring for yourself. Be kind to yourself in this process and extend that kindness to others as we all move through this next phase of life in the time of COVID.
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