Gay Men & Anxiety
Anxiety can be our ally in our quest for good mental health. Here’s how.
Anxiety can be challenging to manage because we’re not really taught how to. Most people find ways to manage it on their own, sometimes in unhealthy ways. While there are many anxiety management resources online, I want to offer ways to understand and relate to anxiety that can help make it a less daunting and even a beneficial experience.
Anxiety is an evolutionary trait
Anxiety is an emotional state that people and animals experience because it promotes survival. It has evolved with us because it serves a purpose, so in the proper context, anxiety can be very useful.
Anxiety is neither good nor bad
Given that anxiety is a naturally occurring emotion, it can be viewed as a neutral fact of life. Yes, anxiety can be highly uncomfortable, but we don’t have to label it as bad. If we can remove the label of “bad” from it in our mind, it could help us sit with it long enough to receive the wisdom and opportunities it offers.
Anxiety is part of life
If our goal is to live anxiety-free, we’re in for rude awakenings. There are countless and constant sources of stress that trigger anxiety. Sometimes our mind will stir it up out of nowhere. It’s in our best interest to accept anxiety as part of life, practice being aware of it when we’re in it, and learn to honor it while it’s with us.
Anxiety is a signal
A tornado siren has a very specific purpose. It’s loud, alarming, and it signals that danger is imminent, so we better get to safety. Try to think of anxiety as an internal signal that alerts us to work towards safety. If we drown out, ignore, or numb our anxiety alarm, that won’t make the tornado go away. In its own way, anxiety is signaling to us that our sense of safety is at risk. If we can tune in to that signal, we give ourselves a chance to set things right.
Anxiety is not the issue
Anxiety feels like an issue when we don’t know how to manage it, when we don’t know why it’s happening, or when it becomes overwhelming and disruptive. The solutions to those issues are to engage coping strategies, understand the anxiety and learn from it, and connect to the support that we need. The real issue is what’s triggering the anxiety, which is where our attention is needed. Once we address the issue, our anxiety will subside.
Anxiety facilitates action
Oftentimes, anxiety is signaling us to focus and take action on an issue or situation that is making us feel unsafe, not in control, or uncomfortable. Tap into anxiety’s energy and utilize the momentum and urgency it creates to address the issue at hand. Once we do and we start making moves, we will feel a sense of relief, safety, and control.
Anxiety is an invitation to look within
It’s impossible to know every aspect of ourselves. Repressed memories, subconscious fears, and distorted memories and beliefs can trigger an anxiety response to people, places, and situations without us knowing why. In these cases, our anxiety offers us an invitation to explore what is attached to it. Through this, we have a chance to gain self-awareness, uncover and revisit memories, revise beliefs, and heal emotional wounds.
If we can learn to partner with our anxiety and see it as an ally in our quest for peace, self-awareness, healing, and connection, we have a better chance of achieving good mental health.
